Take Your Kid to Work Day

Yesterday was “Take Your Kid to Work Day” at, um, work. I was looking forward to this day since I started here, but I must admit in the days leading up to the special occasion I started getting nervous about what Julia might see and hear at the office. I contemplated asking a co-worker to hide her very explicit lamp shade. I didn’t know how I would respond if she asked, “why does everyone have so many tattoos?” I thought about buying one of those noise-reduction headphones for her to wear so she wouldn’t be subjected to obscene language. Thankfully, none of these things were an issue, and we ended up having a great time.

We entered the office through the extreme concierge’s work station, which was full of motorcycles and mountain bikes. We have someone on staff who works on people’s motorcycles, bikes, skis, and snowboards all day. Super cool.

As we walked through the halls we were almost run over several times by kids riding around on the office big wheels and scooters. I was used to such mayhem, but Jules seemed intrigued. She even tried riding one of the big wheels, but it was a bit too big for her.

We started the day with some breakfast. She had Honey Nut Cheerios, chocolate milk, and OJ, while I went to town on my Kashi cereal with soy milk (why yes, I do have an appointment with a doctor so I can have my testosterone levels evaluated...why do you ask?). My co-workers swarmed all over Julia, which she seemed to enjoy. The person that sits next to me gave Jules a necklace as a gift. Jules loved it. I secretly wished she had given the necklace to me.

At 10 we headed over to the agency’s photo studio, where we were told the kids would learn all about advertising. The subject would be Burger King. Great. I love their ads, but I don’t want Jules to be exposed to them until she is at least 30 and married.

I went back to work, but I checked in on Jules to make sure she was doing OK. She was being quite boisterous, but not in a misbehaving way. I remember my own childhood. Whenever I was surrounded by kids I didn’t know I got all Brian Wilson and hid. Jules is the opposite. Obviously she gets her social skills from her mother.

Around noon I joined Jules for lunch. She had a Burger King kids meal, and I had some sandwiches, pasta salad, and fruit. Then I went back to work until 4. When I picked up Jules she said she had a great time.

Then she actually spent time with me while I worked. Poor kid.

She let me know in no uncertain terms that she was bored by telling me, “I’m bored.” So I let her play PBSKids.org while I got stuff ready for a meeting. We left close to 6, and she almost instantly fell asleep in the car. Work does that to you, especially when you’re in kindergarten.

I love it when my kids come to the office, but I fear they will think this place is typical. They’ll think it’s normal to ride your skateboard through the halls. They’ll think it’s OK to bring your dog to work and wear shorts and flip flops. They’ll expect a free soda fountain.

I need to expose them to the real corporate America. They need to know what’s it’s like to have to be at work by 7:30, to have to (gasp!) eat breakfast at home, to have to wear “business casual” clothes. Does anyone have a job like that? If so, can my kids tag along with you for a few hours?